Meditation Log



I share these experiences because I think its important to do so and share this most important knowledge for the benefit of all and the advancement of the species. Only by sharing Knowledge can the species advance, and so I do so freely sharing with you my most private and personal and profound spiritual experiences, so that we can all develop a more accurate picture of the nature of Reality and gain a hint of the possibilities of the Spirit. 

I began meditating at the age of 14, back in 1994, after a deep hunger arose within to explore the nature of what I am. A deep primal urge and calling to understand the fundamental nature of Reality and Consciousness.

So, I was determined, and diligent in my practice, starting off attempting to control the pesky monkey mind. It was a challenge, indeed the most challenging thing for a young, restless undisciplined mind. But I was determined. And I persevered. Time and time again bringing attention back to the flow of my breath.

Within weeks and months of practice, the mind began to settle, and I dove deep, within myself, within the depths of my Soul. 

Very soon, I began to encounter phenomena that I could not explain.

Physiological and physical changes, along with palpable mental/spiritual changes in Consciousness.

There was something to this…

The young scientific mind in me was curious, and dove deeper, deep into the Chasm of the Soul!

Deep into the Heart of Being.


I discovered that the act of focusing the attention into fine, sharp threads of highly focused attention was doing something.

It seemed to accelerate the vibrational frequency of one’s Consciousness with profound effects.


Early Experiences


June 1994


I am battling with my monkey mind and my posture, sitting upright with my legs folded underneath me. I struggle to hold consistent attention on my breath. The mind is all over the place. All I have to do is hold consistent attention on the flow of my breath. I grow frustrated with myself that I struggle to accomplish this simple task.


July 1994


Concentration improves. There is a noticeable subtle feeling of peace that wells within. The mind grows clear. I am gaining control over my thoughts. They no longer run rampant, uncontrolled, wild forces in my skull. The power that is my mind is being Tamed and controlled gradually.


The feeling of peace grows and can become quite profound… as I sit like a statue in the middle of the night, dark outside, mind focused on the breath, like a mountain. I dive deep. Peace grows within. Energy wells within. I sense potent forces that lie latent deep, deep within.

I noticed physiological and physical changes with a concerted effort to focus the attention. Some of the things I note include:

  1. Pressure grows on the temples and around the head. It sometimes feels like one’s head is clamped in a vice, and its slowly being squeezed.
  2. Fluttering of the ears. Often my left ear will begin to flutter uncontrollably.
  3. As I go deeper into meditation, the back can get forced upright spontaneously.
  4. The head can sometimes spontaneously moves to the left or right.


August 1994


As I sit deep in meditation, I begin to perceive insights come to me from where? I have no idea. In the silence of the night as I sit, I get the feeling that God is peering out of my eyes. A hint of a feeling that I am the God that I seek… He peers out of my eyes….

I feel and sense many more things that are incredibly difficult to articulate into words.


I am filled with the sense of profound awe of the miraculousness of Existence, of Being. How it is the ultimate Gift. To BE is the Holy Alpha and Omega. Existence is the Ultimate Gift. I am filled with a magnificent Golden radiant energy that fills my skull, Ecstasy beyond belief. The intuit of I AM THAT I AM fills me. I marvel at the magnificence of this Sacred and Blessed Existence. Gift of gifts. Holiest of Holies, Sacred beyond conception. To be anything in this Multiverse is the Ultimate of Gifts.


As my meditation practise develops, I notice how the act of focusing the attention causes the vibrational frequency of one’s Consciousness to increase, which then results in an influx of profound energies. This could be seen as three possible explanations.

1) It may also be explained as a synchronisation of vibrational frequencies with a Higher vibrational Source which perpetually emits vast quantities of Energy. For as one dives deeper, the process could be described as a “tuning in” to a profoundly powerful, and supremely intelligent Source which contains infinite exquisite Energy.

Or 2) It could be seen as a diving deep within the Heart of Oneself unlocking powers that reside deep within.

Or 3) It could be seen as cutting through the illusory reality of our World and entering into a reality that is far more real, a Source of Being, from which all realities emerge.

What is actually occurring, I do not know.

All I do know is that something profound is occurring with very real physiological, physical and mental effects.

The states that I experience during meditation are far more lucid, and profound that normal waking reality and Consciousness.

The Energy is greater, the senses are heightened, and the feelings of profound Peace, Energy, Power, Strength, Bliss, Love and Ecstacy are more real and far greater than experienced in normal waking Consciousness.

Ordinary waking Consciousness feels like a dream in comparison to the heightened lucid; divine states experienced during meditation.

This is incredible; I think to myself. Why is the World unaware of these states of Being? Why is the World seemingly in such discord. Here I sit, a young man, in the silence of the night, in my humble tiny room. Experiencing Divine, Glorious heavenly states within. Why do my fellow brothers and sisters not experience these exalted states of Being? If everyone could experience this, there would be Global Peace overnight. The World would be transformed into a Paradise. The answer to all our problems lies deep within ourselves. When we dive deep within, we will discover treasures greater than all the “riches” money, or Gold has to offer.

This Energy I am experiencing is True Wealth. Physical Wealth is nothing compared to this glorious Energy. Wealth beyond one’s wildest dreams lies within. Glories beyond one’s wildest dreams. Ecstacy and Love beyond anything that a Human experience can offer. I could be sitting naked on the street, and I would be supremely happy with this divine Energy flowing through me. All cravings are satisfied by connecting to this divine Source, from which all things emerge. Its Energy is magnificent beyond comprehension. 

Why are my fellow Human Beings not experiencing such exalted states of Being in their daily lives? 

We could have World Peace now if we could but learn how to connect to the Heart of Being and drink from the infinite Divine Manna of Being, which is our birthright.

We have built within us the natural ability by which we can connect to the Source of Existence, the Heart of Being, and gain sustenance. Infinite Energy that heals and rejuvenates and animates. It is an innate ability within every one of us.

We have simply become distracted by the wonders of the seemingly outer World. Learning to dive deep within will lead us to the Source of Reality, from which you can fill your cup. To fill one’s cup, however, one must first learn to empty that cup.

It becomes evident to me that the Human Being is in a state of becoming, mere babes learning about the miraculous nature of their Being. We have not yet learned what miracles we are capable of. What we have achieved thus far is merely the very birth throes of something that can indeed be far, far greater. We are taking baby steps towards becoming fully conscious Co-Creators of our Reality.

We possess the ability to infuse ourselves with the profound and exquisite Energy of the Source from the Heart of Being and Existence. And when we do so, the quality of our experience and fulfilment will be vastly enhanced. Our Hearts and Minds will flower, opening up, and we will live as we were meant to live. With a great Love that fills out hearts, and our spirits becoming consciously aware of its connection with all other Consciousnesses. 

The World we live in now is a world of the living dead, A world of sleepwalkers, where the inhabitants have not yet learned how to infuse themselves with the divine energies from the Heart of Being and Existence. Dive within oh Holy One! And re-awaken, reconnect, and drink from the wells of Existence, the Alpha and Omega, the Heart of All That Is, that unconditionally sends its magnificent Energy that forms all things. 

It is your birthright!

And when you do so, you will transform your Consciousness. You will become an Awakened One. Infused with the divine higher Vibrational frequency Energy of the Source. Filled with a profound Love for all things. A great appreciation for the Miracle of Being! The absolute Holy Majesty of Existence! And a profound appreciation for the sacred and ingenious majesty of what you are…




I noticed many things during my meditations. Something/ Someone is in the room with me. I will feel sensations, a touch here, a touch there, on my shoulder, on my head and hair. I will sometimes hear a sound in the corner of my room, which is impossible to reproduce without something being there.


June 1996


Sitting immersed in meditation for at least a few hours, deep in. The mind sharply focused. Suddenly. As if doused with invisible petrol and a match thrown onto me. I am engulfed in a glorious fire, not visible to the physical eye. A Glorious, exalted ecstasy engulfs me. A feeling of immense Godly Divine Power flows through me, extending beyond the boundary of my skin. Holy, Glorious Power of God fills me. Ecstacy, Strength, Bliss fill me to the brim, Radiant fire, bonfire of glory. I am on fire. A fire that cannot be seen with the eye. The states lasts for at least 30 minutes before I come out of it.



July 1998


While asleep, I find myself suddenly awake; I am as light as a feather, floating. I am pure Energy, but am aware of the form of a body. Paralysed, A loud roaring, energetic sound buzzing on the left side of my head. Roaring Energy! With a radiant light emanating around me. I try to control my movement but can only rise myself a little higher stopping someway from the ceiling. 



April 2003


While in Nepal, after trekking on the Annapurna Circuit. Early one morning.

I was crossing the main road in Pokhara when I glanced down, and suddenly it was as if magical spectacles were placed over my eyes. And as I lifted my head, the World was different. I could feel and sense the living Consciousness of all things in the environment around me. I could feel the living conscious air and atmosphere moving above me, and feel its living beingness and sensations s it moved and brushed the conscious living leaves on the Trees in the distance. I felt their impressions. I could feel the mass of people walking upon the living Earth and feel the impressions they made walking upon it, like ants. The Earth was literally feeling the movements of their steps. Everything was imbued with Consciousness. I could feel the livingness of the mountains in the distance. NOTHING is inert, dead matter. Everything is Conscious and Alive!

A powerful feeling also welled in my heart, with a message that “everything will be OK”. And there is nothing to worry about.


May 2003


I returned from India with some Shiva Bhang to experiment within my meditations. I take some and begin to meditate. As my focus grows, I begin to hear static-like crackle of Energy slightly in front of and above my head. 


May 2004


I decide to take a heroic dose of the sacred Mushroom. 13 dried grams of Psilocybin Mushrooms.

What proceeds to occur is a profound enlightenment experience, where I am propelled into an ultimate psychological hell and then into Divine Illumination where the true nature of my identity is revealed to me in the most beautiful way.


June 2005

One day, there is a very strange electric feeling and atmosphere in the living room. Accompanying the atmosphere is a strong urge to meditate. I submit to the urge and sit to meditate. I dive deep, and as my focus grows, I hear the sound of static-like electric crackle of Energy above my head in the air. It feels as if the boundary between dimensions is thin as if I could slip into another dimension. Its the second time I experience the phenomena during meditation. Fascinating.








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